Lessons from Tucker

This is Tucker. He's smelly and hairy. He loves to drop a drool covered tennis ball in your lap so you'll throw it for him--at least 100 times or so. If he so much as walks across the floor, he leaves black hair behind. Did I mention that he's stinky????  Anyhoo...Tucker is our 4 year old, much adored black lab. My family loves this dog.  Really.

A couple of days ago, I bought Tucker a new bed. This thing is nice, people..comfy, not hot and fleecy, big enough for him to stretch out.  Last night we put him in the laundry room, on his nice, new, comfy bed. Due to the whole hair thing, he's not allowed to roam around and spends the majority of his life outside, but we like to let him in at night. This morning Jay informed me that Tucker had spent the night near the base of the stairs--not on his nice, comfy doggie bed in the laundry room. I have to laugh.  He never could've gotten away with it, you can see the black hair on the tile. Oh, Tucker.

You see, Tucker cannot stand it if he isn't near his people.  His love and devotion for his family is so complete, his joy at being in our presence overflowing--his entire body wagging, not merely his tail. This dog personifies joy, devotion, and love. It may sound a tad cheesy, but it is entirely true.  Tucker left the laundry room to lie down by the stairs as we slept upstairs. He knows he isn't allowed up there so he chose the very closest spot to us.

My thoughts this morning?  Well, as I was reading in James about my Father of Lights, I looked down at the black dog hair spotting my floor and realized that I want to be that devoted to my Jesus, to find my joy in His Presence, to love and trust him so completely that nothing of this world's troubles matters as I draw into His grace and  find my rest in Him. Wholeheartedly devoted. Loving with everything in me. Real joy.

 Life lessons from Tucker...who knew?! :)

(Had to add a puppy picture because, well, what's cuter than a black lab puppy???)

Unity

After the last post poking a little fun at some of the churches we've visited, I thought it might be a good idea to share something that I've found to be most wonderful. Houston area churches are so full of diversity...people of every possible skin color, ethnicity, culture, language. It does the heart a world of good to enter a place of worship with all of these peoples of the world together in one place.  Unity in Christ. So incredibly beautiful. 

A Different World

Moving from the Northwest to South Texas is quite the experience. I love the scene in Sweet Home Alabama where Reese Witherspoon's character says, "People need a passport to come down here!"  My family is navigating this sea of change fairly well, though sometimes they just shake their heads in wonder and confusion. It's truly a different world.

Part of the whole moving gig for us has been visiting area churches to see if perhaps one might be a fit for our family. This alone has been interesting, including one Sunday when, after the service, we all got in the car and started laughing.  Kyra and I both began to sing different songs, but both described well what we'd just experienced. We are probably bad people, but it hit us all as pretty darn funny. I'll share the songs with you...

Conviction

A couple of years ago, as I was practically jogging through Target to get to the toilet paper aisle--feeling overwhelmed, tired and too busy--I was stopped by a book.  Transfixed from page one, I stood in the aisle at Target and read this book from cover to cover...Night by Elie Wiesel.  Beautiful, haunting, convicting, powerful, so very very sad.

This morning I once again find myself convicted by Elie's words...

"I swore to never be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation.  We must always take sides.  Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented."

There are passions in my heart for the oppressed. Those passions may be for different causes than yours, but they all matter. I am convicted today to get out of my little world, to look beyond the difficulties in my own life as of late, to do my best to see. Open the eyes of my heart, Lord. Help me to see, to be unafraid, and then, to do.

Hope

Following day after day of baking heat, this particular Monday dawned gray and stormy.  All was quiet in the house, save the rumbling of thunder and pouring rain, as I sat with a comforting, hot, cup of coffee. Knowing what was to come later that morning, my soul was troubled, my heart sad,  and as soon as I had awakened I knew I needed my Father. We needed to talk--a God meeting to air a grievance, to ask for understanding or some semblance of peace.

On this day I needed to ask Him how parents are supposed to bear the burying of their daughter. I felt sadness and anger rise up at the wrongness and injustice of a life cut short. The wrongness of a parent forced to outlive the child. The frustration of prayers for healing answered with an obvious no.  Why is one healed and another taken away? Why do we have to endure the suffering of our loved ones?

Understanding eludes me. Intellectually I can say that suffering is part and parcel of the human experience, the result of living in a sin-filled, fallen world,  that we were created for heaven. My heart? My heart says that this is crap...wrong and unfair. What is worse than watching a mother as she stands by the casket of her daughter, not wanting to leave her alone? Where is the justice, the rightness in this?   Making no pretense of understanding the heartbreak of losing a child, I still couldn't help but imagine myself in those shoes. Such sadness. Such grief.

As I spoke these things aloud, my Father heard. He drew near and I found myself grateful for the big shoulders of my more than able God. He understands my anger. He grieves with us, His children. Our pain is His. I drew into His grace.

I dressed and left for the funeral without all of the answers I sought,  confident that God had loving promises and gentle reminders coming for me on this day. The first came to me in a memory as I drove into town...a memory of another funeral of another life too short. For this particular family, the repeated "Cancer sucks, but God is good" had become mantra of sorts, a way to help them through the anger and grief.  But on this gray Monday, the words that spoke the most to my heart came from my daddy.

Standing before grieving family and friends, my dad spoke the carefully prepared words of the eulogy, lovely and eloquent, at times struggling through tears, concluding with a story of a few moments spent with my mamaw a few years ago as her time on earth drew to a close. At the end of this conversation contemplating the journey known only to those who have passed on, my dad spoke to my mamaw of the promises of the Father and the angels waiting to take her into the arms of Jesus.
"Mama," he said, "you just enjoy the ride."

There it was, this answer I sought.  It doesn't take away the grief. It doesn't take away the heartbreak or make pain disappear. It does bring with it the beginnings of peace and healing to the aching heart. Cancer sucks, but our God is good. His love is perfect,  His promises perfectly kept, and His children swept into His arms on angel's wings.

To the Kudelka family...may you find the beginnings of peace and healing in the promises and the presence of the Father.

Tidbits

Today I decided to share with you a few facts, tidbits, and silly observations from the past few weeks in South Texas.

~My mom (aka Beebs) is the best cook on the planet. The woman can make anything taste absolutely wonderful.

~Texas girls don't leave the house without some bling...it's even on their flip-flops!

~Boudin is pretty tasty.

~My straight-and-static-filled-in-Montana hair has an amazing capacity for absorbing humidity. It could be, at times, even described as  verging on big.

~Sweaty underpants are unpleasant.  (Sorry, TMI???)

~Just in case you ever come down here and need to know this--a stark is a bird typically known as a stork. Jay was pretty confused one evening during a conversation with my uncle.

~Texas BBQ is all about the meat.

~Big Red is a soda consumed in massive quantities down here. I find it to be rather horrifying.

~The low was in the 60's last night and one of my Texas friends needed a sweatshirt. I love that. :)

~My aunt and uncle have a tiny horse (dubbed Tiny Pony by my girls) that acts like a dog. Really...Tiny Pony follows the girls around and also likes to sniff our dog's rear-end.  I had no idea.

~Texas has bugs that intimidate even Shelby.  He informed me yesterday that he saw a massive flying beetle type bug with huge pinchers that actually scared him.  This is a very rare occurence for Shelby.  The kid has ALWAYS  loved bugs!

~My family loves me without conditions.  It's been lovely to be close enough to be reminded of this.

~People are darn friendly around here.  It's just not uncommon to find yourself in a conversation with a complete stranger while in the parking lot of the grocery store or in some other random setting.  It's nice.

Have a wonderful day, Friends!  Love to you all and thanks for reading!  :-)

One Thousand Blessings

For the past few weeks I have been reading/crying my way through Ann Voskamp's devotional One Thousand Gifts: Reflections on Finding Everyday Graces. With our lives in a bit of upheaval and transition, I decided to follow in Ann's footsteps--to write down 1000 gifts/blessings/graces/things I am grateful for. Call them what you will, it is a life and attitude altering exercise. Focus on the blessings...simple things, mostly. Everyday things that bring peace and joy. I've only to think about this growing accounting written rather messily in my journal and I feel peace overtaking the stress and the worries.

Here...I will share a few entries to help you start your own journey...

#1 My Father's grace and mercies that are new every morning!

#14 Libraries

#27 My Shakespearean insults mug. "Not so much brain as ear wax."

#26 Kerrygold butter. (Seriously...Oh My Goodness Gracious!)

#117 Being missed by friends I love.

#118 Being blessed with friends to love and miss.

#74 Tiny bridge over the Guadalupe River near Cuero, TX...just beautiful.

#84 Vintage Pyrex.

#88 Clean sheets.

#89 Creative, quirky, odd people...my favorite!

#121 South Texas bugs. Really. They are so colorful and strange and LARGE!

#121 Seeing my dad's love and affection for my daughters. Precious.

#54 Shelby's laugh.

I will stop there. Many more scrawls have been made--some personal, some silly, some forced out on days when it seemed nothing of joy was to be found. Hundreds more are waiting to be recorded and pondered, my heart resolved to continue on as long as I am able to put pen to paper. My desire is to transform this from a heart and soul training exercise to the default reaction of my heart...to live out gratefulness, joy, and grace.

Now go. Grab a gel pen (#41--I love gel pens.) Find a lovely journal and a favorite comfort beverage.  Take a quiet moment and begin to write. Write even if the only good thing you can think of today is breathing in and breathing out. Persevere and soon you, too, will feel the love of the Father fill your spirit to overflowing. He is good.

"When I realize that it is not God who is in my debt but I who am in his great debt, then doesn't all become gift? "
Ann Voskamp